Lie Detector Testing or Private Investigator Services may assist with disclosures during Marriage Counselling
According to Stephan Schwartz, people attending centres such as Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) are initially uncertain if they will actually recover. The first issues dealt with are the problems such as compulsive behaviours. In SAA, behaviours that label people as sex addicts are identified and grouped into circles. Inner circles identify behaviours that would never be repeated such as consuming drugs and alcohol. If clients relapse then their time starts again. For sexual addicts, rules are defined very clearly in relation to triggers. Some people will even turn away from looking at provocative images in magazines and advertisements.
Stephan Schwartz goes on to say, "Many of these men and women are in marriages or long-term relationships. Their lives are dysfunctional and they know it. They'll expect to spend months, if not years, in 12-step meetings, individual therapy and marriage counselling in hopes of saving their relationships. If they're lucky, they have understanding partners who can see beyond the addiction. It doesn't always work out. But sometimes it does. Sometimes, as in his case, the relationship breaks down, then rebuilds on a stronger foundation. Sometimes, the person you're becoming is better than the person you've been."
Schwartz says, "I was 15 years into my marriage when my secret life unravelled. And when this happens, when you and your partner work together to create the intimacy you've never known, you begin to incorporate healthy sex into the relationship. Because sex is supposed to be healthy, it's supposed to be normal within the relationship of two consenting adults in a loving relationship". Questions that lie detector specialists who deal with post convicted sexual offender testing in America often consider are- What is normal sex for a sex addict? What does recovery look like?
Schwartz states that he has been sober for about nine years, free from compulsive, unhealthy sexual activity. He used to pick up sex workers from the street, go to massage parlours and waste money on lap dances in strip clubs. This had been happening since before he met his wife. He was fifteen years into his marriage when his secret life was discovered. Such a discovery is usually one brought about after hiring the services of a Private Investigator at substantial cost. Alternatively, admissions regarding infidelity are often made as confessions during a Lie Detector Test. This firm makes no judgement in listening to the white lies and mistakes that all humans make. Our lie detector tests are used to solve problems even if the truth is hard to bear, it always sets one free.
As Schwartz recounts, "The beginning of the end started with an inkling of suspicion-a simple lie he told his wife, a lie that didn't add up. It got his wife thinking and asking questions. He told another lie to cover the first and then he lied again. He lied desperately. He lied to save the hidden self, the secret me-to save the man who wasn't worth saving. He saw the fear in her eyes. She never thought he was capable of this. She didn't know what to believe. He pleaded with his wife and asked her what he needed to do to prove he was still not telling a lie?
"I want you to take a polygraph test," she said, firmly. "I've been doing some research and I feel it's the only way." This is what was said according to Schwartz who was now facing the reality of undergoing Lie Detector Testing.
The wrongfully accused can schedule a confidential Lie Detector Test in Sydney, Melbourne, Perth and Brisbane.
As with all prospective subjects about to undertake a Test in Lie Detection, he was not expecting this. The addict inside him was angry but outwardly remained calm saying, "Of course," In many cases; a wrongfully accused person is actually the one who initiates their own polygraph test. They self refer themselves and take the test and then go back to the accuser with an accurate eight page report consisting of the test results, statistical data on polygraph testing and the questions asked. Such a professional Polygraph service in Australia has been available at this firm for over a decade. Our private investigators have conducted many successful lie detector tests for the media, corporations and for suburban couples in all capital cities of Australia.
"You're going to tell me everything before the test," Schwartz’s wife continued. "I don't want any surprises. I want to know who you are and what you've done. If you pass the test, I'll know you're telling the truth about all the lies you told me."
In the lead up between that confrontation and the day of the Lie Detection Test, he began confessing to his wife. The confessions regarding the infidelity transpired slowly at first before leading up to total disclosure. This was before he understood what disclosure was. At that point, to his wife and to himself, he was an adulterer. This was the word she kept repeating in his presence, the word that their first psychologist corrected by saying, "Don't think of him as an adulterer but rather think of him as an alcoholic." His disclosure left his wife in shock. She asked him to move out of the house. He thought it was over.
He stayed with relatives and friends for three weeks-close enough to be there when she called him. She was disgusted with him but she was also disgusted with herself-for not knowing who he was, for letting herself be duped all of these years. And yet, now, she saw something she hadn't seen before: a human being, with sharp edges and flaws. A dark side no one knew existed. Maybe something that reminded her of who he was the first time they met, the thing that caused the attraction in the first place. It intrigued her, according to the Schwartz.
How the Cost of a Lie Detector Test saved a marriage.
What he didn't know was she'd been planning on leaving him before she even discovered his addiction. There had been no spark or passion in their marriage for a very long time. His disclosure made her pause. They joke about it now, says Schwartz, who goes on to say that his wife had lived with the kind, wholesome, incomplete Schwartz. The dark side was missing-hidden in shameful, Hollywood nights. She wondered if it was worth her investment of energy, time and trust. She decided she would try, if he would try-if he would give it his all. But it had to begin with honesty, says Schwartz.
He took the test and passed. It wasn't easy, but it was nothing compared to what he put her through. They were now at ground zero. From there, he went to 12-step meetings, then they went to 12-step meetings, and to marriage counselling, and to individual therapy. Slowly, gradually, they built something new. And there was sex. A new type of sex, built on trust and respect and a growing passion. It wasn't always good. It wasn't always bad. Lately it's been great. For him, recovery looks like this: no more compulsive behaviour, no more secrets. When he was acting out, he would spend four hours driving the same two-mile stretch of Sunset Boulevard, looking for the perfect girl. Now, when he see a prostitute on the street, he can simply drive on by. He does not circle back. That would be "cruising." And cruising is one of the many things in his Inner forbidden Circle, according to Schwartz.
How Lie Detector Testing Instruments Function?
Lie detector testing or Truth verification Polygraph machines are modern scientific instruments that measure changes in respiration, blood pressure, galvanic skin response and peripheral movement, when a person answers a series of simple straightforward questions pertaining to a particular matter. A typical question prior to Relationship Counselling may be, "Have you had extra marital sex since 1 March, 2012?" All lie detector tests at this firm are conducted by highly qualified and experienced polygraph examiners who have a minimum of ten years experience in truth verifications. Our examiners also have university training in counselling and Positive Psychology which give us the edge over those that lack these associated qualifications.
Three questions to check if a Polygraph examiner is qualified & stable: How do I Choose a Qualified and Competent Polygraph Examiner?
Simply ask a polygraph examiner if they are a member of either the British & European Polygraph Association or the American Polygraph Association. Membership indicates that the polygraph examiner has completed accredited training in lie detection. Secondly, ask your polygraph examiner, if they themselves are in a secure long term marriage with children and thirdly ask your polygraph examiner if they have University qualifications in counselling or Psychology. In our opinion, if a person does not satisfy these three criteria, they may not be suited to conduct a polygraph test for infidelity. The ultimate decision is with the client as to who they choose to conduct their important polygraph test but we think that qualifications must be multifaceted and related to the issue being tested. Polygraph certification and training in security by itself may not be sufficient for clients seeking a lie detector test for marriage problems.
Sex addiction isn't really about sex. In marriage counselling they will tell you It's about a lot of things and it kind of looks like it's about sex, but it isn't. It's about the hole in our lives and how we fill it-with alcohol, with drugs, and with sex. It's about avoiding intimacy with the ones you love while making connections with strangers you perceive to be safe. It takes time to turn all that nonsense inside out. It takes time, and help, to right all the wrong.
Schwartz states that stopping the compulsive behaviour was difficult but being truly honest was even harder. Looking the addiction in the eye and calling it what it was, instead of making excuses to let it take me down its road. He discovered that a lot of "innocent" things lead to his Inner Circle such as flirting. If he does anything that resembles flirting, he has to tell his wife. Because flirting is his attempt to make a connection and there's no innocent flirting in that world. There's a line that must be drawn and his past actions show that he is likely to cross it. He has to tell his wife about these flirtations when they occur because, eventually, she'll find out. She'll find out when he tells her, before the next Lie Detector Test is arranged.
Discover Addictions by investing in the small cost of a lie detector test.
Schwartz informs us that as part of his recovery, and as part of his new marriage agreement, he has to take that test once a year. It is the tool that makes him accountable and it uncovers everything. There's no grey area in the polygraph test. Before taking it, he makes an inventory of all the things he has done in the past year that might be considered slips, or might prove to lead to a slip if it isn't brought to light-like the hour he spent on the Internet, clicking from one pornographic image to the next. Left unchecked, this could lead to a full-on Internet addiction. Or the time he went for a legitimate massage, then waited around hoping the masseuse would do something erotic. Now his massages must be supervised.
He has passed every lie detector test as part of the marriage counselling process because he has told his wife everything that needed to be told before taking it. The test confirms that he is living up to his end of the deal.
Accuracy of our Lie Detector Testing using Lafayette LX 4000 Polygraph Instruments
Industry research shows that using qualified and experienced polygraph examiners such as us result in accuracy of up to 96% in most specific issue polygraph tests.
The truth is that the polygraph saved his marriage. He says he is indebted to it. It has made it so that lying is not an option. The last polygraph examiner used was impressed with what they were doing. He said the test has only recently been recommended by marriage counsellors for use in bringing relationships back from the brink. They have been using the polygraph for years.
Schwartz says he is in recovery. It's different from anyone else's recovery. He has an active, sexual relationship with his wife. Some things they do might be considered pushing the envelope to others in the program-like going to strip clubs, which they do on occasion, because it's fun and a little edgy and sexy and they can share it, together. But he will never go without her because there are no more secrets-no more shameful, lonely nights scanning the streets. No more involvement in indecent acts alone either, because it severs the connection he has with his wife. It sends him into a fantasy world that leads to compulsive behaviour, which leads to his Inner Circle.
Sex should be explored, providing the exploration is done between consenting adults and no one is abused in the process. When he was picking up prostitutes, he was part of a system that encouraged the abuse of women, and the shame he felt translated as self-abuse.
This is what recovery looks like according to him: the end of dangerous, compulsive sexual behaviour and a life lived without secrets. Yet he knows, as we all do, that addictions are crafty little devils. They wait in the wings until we're sure we're their master, and then they return to assume control of our lives. So he knows he is not cured. But he is in recovery and life has never been better for him.
Lie detector testing in cities like Sydney, Melbourne and Perth have been
available for people wanting to prove their innocence. In many cases, the
accusations are made by over controlling men and a lie detection test may
be one option of confirming this paranoia.